Hearts of Christian HomeKeepers™

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

I remember the reading of this passage on my wedding day as if it was yesterday.  My then 15 year old future-sister-in-law read this passage during our 36 minute wedding service.  I remember the excitement of deciding which passage to choose, although I didn’t realize the significance of that passage until much later.

To this day, my wedding to my husband was the best thing that has ever happened to me, with the birth of my sons a very close second.  The thing about my marriage is that I wasn’t just marrying a man, I was also marrying my best friend, my partner, my confidant, and my protector.  It was more than just two people becoming one in the eyes of the world.  Sure, that day it became official, on paper. But we were united in spirit, and heart, long before that ceremony in front of our family and friends.

To this day, my marriage is one of my highest priorities.  Someone at work recently asked me what made our marriage work so well.  I didn’t hesitate when I said that we loved each other.  But it’s more than that.  We laugh together, we cry together, we celebrate together, we sit quietly together.  The defining factor of this is that we do things together. It took me quite a bit of time to really grasp that concept because I never had that kind of role model growing up.  My parents were never really together, and when they were, they were still apart.  We also laugh together.  We have fun together, even if we are just playing video games, watching tv or reading.

If anyone has seen the movie, Jerry Maguire, there is a scene in the movie where two people are in the elevator, and the man signs to the woman that “she completes him”.  That is how I feel about my husband, he completes me, he makes me whole.

Treasure your marriage, as it is God’s gift to you.

My mother is a quilter. I am not. Or at least I did not think I was. Turns out I was wrong. My quilts are not made of fabric and tiny stitches. Instead they are made of memories held together with love. You see, I am quilting the fabric of my son’s childhood.

Andy is six years old and he is my only child. The other evening I was helping him get out of the bath and I commented to him that he has come a long way from the screaming days. When he was about a 8 months old, he went through a phase where he hated to take a bath. I would set him in the warm tub and frantically scrub while he screamed and wailed like stuck pig. Apparently I had never told Andy this story and he was captivated. He wanted to hear all about his screaming fits, why he didn’t like the water and every last dripping detail. He loves to hear stories about his babyhood. I have told him the story of his birth a hundred times. This was when it occurred to me that this is the fabric of his life. These are the personal facts and antidotes that he will remember for the rest of his life. The beginning stories he will tell his grandchildren.
When Andy was born, he had a small hole in his heart that did not close upon birth like it was supposed to. When he was a week old, we went back to the hospital and I laid my precious infant on a cold machine and cried tears of joy when that machine told me the hole in his heart had closed on its own. Andy knows this story and refers to it often. He needs reassured now and then that his heart is okay and that the hole won’t come back. This is his history. His story.
We are all quilters of our children lives. Somedays we may not think twice about what we say to them or what we do to them but those words and actions are going into the weave of who they are. Take care with these little stitches. Our children will need these quilts for the rest of their lives. Let them be their comforters, their security blankets. Their stories.

Have you ever felt like you were in a storm?  Maybe not a literal storm such as a hurricane or tornado.  But never the less, a storm.  A financial storm, a marital storm, stormy kids!

Sometimes the lightning from these storms of life can be so bright and the thunder so scary and loud!  The winds from these storms feel as if they’re going to break apart your ship or even blow you away!

The apostle Paul was in several storms in his life.  Trials, beatings, shipwrecks, a serious snakebite, people trying to kill him all the time.  Paul was definitely put through a few trials.

You know we read about the shipwreck in the Book of Acts chapter 27.  They thought this storm was going to kill all 276 people aboard the ship!  They couldn’t eat or sleep they were so scared.

The storm Paul and the people on that ship faced was so bad they gave it a name:  Euroclydon

You’ve got to remember that during the course of this storm, they had no clue how long it would last.  But Paul had a word from God!

An angel appeared to Paul in verse 23 of Acts 27.  The angel told him “Fear not, Paul; thou must be brought before Caesar: and, lo, God hath given thee all them that sail with thee.

Paul’s response?  His response was key to receiving!  He said  ”Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me. ”

Paul believed GOD not the situation or circumstance.  He held onto the Word that God had sent and had faith that what he was told would come to pass.  He still didn’t know the outcome of the storm.  But he knew God had His hand on them all.

The next time you’re in the midst of your Euroclydon, think about Paul.  Think about his strong faith in what the Lord had told him.  Did you know even though they were in a serious situation, not one of them perished!

In the midst of your trial, you have got to cling on to the Lord like never before.  HE is your lifeline.   He will not fail you.  God can do anything except fail!

God wants you to call out to Him.  He’s your lighthouse, that beacon of hope.  What He’s done for one, He’ll do for the other.  He’s no respector of persons.  You CAN trust Him.  He IS paying attention to you.

Your Euroclydon is coming to an end! So fear not and have faith.   When Day 14 of your storm comes and you realize the storm has ended, you will look back over it all and see where God’s hand was in the whole situation.

Be encourage in the Lord today!

Avoid Burnout…Get Re-Ignited for your Ministry as a Woman of God

There is so much going on in our world and so much to do that it’s easy to get burnt-out. Depression can set in when we don’t take time to see our Kingdom worth and let ourselves sit at the feet of the Lord regularly. Whenever I am feeling myself sinking into the ashes of burnout I re-ignite my ministry as a woman of God by remembering the following:

REACH BEYOND THE TASKS
See beyond the grocery list, laundry pile, school commitments and daily routine to the hearts you are called to reach. The tasks we do each day are important but only as tools to reach the hearts God has placed in your path.

ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER
Find friends who are women of God to be your closest friends. Seek to create a family team that works together to reach God’s goals. Be a unified ministry team by making encouraging each other a regular practice.

INVITE JESUS INTO DAILY MOMENTS
When your child is scared or a neighbor has a concern offer to pray with them right then and there. Just saying you will pray can sometimes sound like a hollow promise and doesn’t have the power of calling on the Lord right now.

GROW YOUR SKILLS
Look for resources to help you in your ministry as a mom, woman, wife, sister, neighbor, friend, and leader. Be a life long learner. Having a teachable spirit allows you to see what God has to offer you through others.

NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
In order to keep pouring yourself into the lives of others, you need to keep filling yourself up with Jesus. Seek Him daily and build a solid devotional life.

IDENTIFY YOUR CALLING
Realize that the God of the Universe called you to introduce Him to very specific people. He has given you your family to be your first ministry. He has placed you in the community you are in for a specific purpose. He has arranged for you to work at your place of employment for His glory. You are called to His service wherever He has placed you.

TAKE TIME FOR JOY
Seek the joy in all circumstances. Children are the best at spreading love and laughter. If you are a mom, you are surrounded by children often. Rejoice and grab your share. Decide to be a joy bringer and let others see you embrace the positives in life instead of focusing on the negatives.

EMBRACE THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR MINISTRY
The world can be a real downer. If satan can cause you to believe that you have no impact than he wins. Believe you are important in God’s kingdom and that everything you do can bring Him honor and glory. Matching clean socks, sweeping the front porch, baking bread, holding a crying child, standing by the side of your husband, caring for an aging parent…this is true ministry. Ministry that changes the world. Don’t underestimate the impact you have.

DEEPEN YOUR KNOWLEDGE GOD AND THE NEEDS OF HIS PEOPLE.
There are changes in our culture, but needs of people are still the same. They communicate these needs differently and their lives may be much busier but they will always need Jesus. Know Jesus intimately so you can reflect Him to the people around you.

Do you feel the flicker of passion coming back? Fan that spark, so that it can be a huge flame that warms others and spreads the love of Christ.

I Want to be  a Mary!

I love mornings! I love them very early, dark, and completely quiet. I don’t particularly care for them any other way. If I sleep late and everyone is up and running before I am, it sets my whole morning askew and can, if I let it, put me out of sorts. It’s like being in gym class and running at the rear of the pack, trying to keep up with the crowd while struggling to put one foot in front of the other. When you finally arrive at the end of the course, everyone else is rested and fresh while you’re still staggering and disheveled. For me, that’s not a good way to start the day.

I admit I like to be in the front of things. I like to have time to prepare for my day, to spend time in God’s word, to pray, and journal my thoughts. Without taking my morning nourishment from my Father’s provision, I am ill-prepared to meet the challenges of my calling. I need this time to surrender the day to my heavenly Father and to surrender my heart anew. I know this–both from the Word and from experience; however, I confess that I fail to come to His banqueting table more often than not. Before I lay my day at His feet, I find myself puttering around the kitchen, putting things away or starting a batch of laundry, making coffee, starting a fire in the wood stove–all the while “getting ready” to spend time with Him. In effect, I take charge of things rather than letting them go.

Once the family arises and conversations begin, breakfast must be prepared and eaten, chores must be assigned, schoolwork laid out and supervised, and just like in gym class–I’m at the back of the pack wondering how everything got away from me. Why is it so much easier to putter around in preparation for devotions than to ignore everything else while I meet with my Master? The truth is that I suffer from the sin of procrastination. Yes, I’m calling it sin because that’s what it is in my life and I need to simply confess it. Instead of obediently following my Father’s clear instruction and the perfect example of His Son, I pick up other things. They do not rob me of time with the Lord; rather, I sacrifice the time!

I am chagrined that I am far more like Martha than like Mary:

“…and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations…the Lord said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.’”

Everything that I am bothering with will pass away, will be undone before tomorrow, or will certainly wait; but the part I am sacrificing–the good part–would never be taken away!

Oh Father, teach me to take up the good part and to let everything else wait~ Keep me from allowing the responsibilities you’ve given me to take priority over my first responsibility, which is to sit at Your Son’s feet to listen to Your word and to be obedient to it! Amen.

In July 2006, I had a headache which lasted several days. When I mentioned to my family doctor that my father had died at age 51 of a brain aneurysm, she immediately ordered an MRI. The day after my MRI, she told my husband and I that I had a small brain tumor. I took the news calmly.   It wasn’t until I was in the neurosurgeon’s office some weeks later that it hit me, hard. The neurosurgeon began talking and I suddenly felt sick and had to lie down. He continued talking to my husband. I guess he’d seen that sort of reaction before. When I recovered, he asked on the way out if I’d like to see the MRI films, and I said yes.

The neurosurgeon removed a 1 inch meningioma, a benign tumor in the outer covering of the brain. My pastor and several friends, ladies from our church, came to sit and pray with me and my husband prior to and during the surgery. Other families from church cared for our two children while I was surgery. Perhaps it sounds strange, but I consider that day a very special gift from God to me and my family. My physical birth was in 1966, spiritual birth in 1979 and another chance at life in 2006.

God comforted me and my family in so many ways during that trial. He provided for our every need through our church, family friends, doctors and nurses and even this board. You dear sisters prayed and I’ll always be grateful.

Last year about this time, I was evaluated by a neuropsychologist due to short term memory loss. It was a very frightening and emotional time for me. I also had difficulty finding words for things.

As someone who loves words and earned a BA in English, this was very frustrating and upsetting to me. The doctor also determined I was having difficulty getting information in in the first place, as well as suffering from mild to moderate depression. I had several sessions of cognitive therapy to learn soem coping skills and strategies. I visited a counselor for one session but was reluctant to place my care in the hands of someone who looked to man rather than God for answers. Eventually, I agreed to try a low dose of a newer antidepressant and it’s been helping me. I also have the name of a Christian counselor I intend to see in the near future.

There is still a stigma attached to mental health problems. People are afraid of what others will think or say. Am I losing it? Am I really going crazy? How will my problem affect my family? Will I have to be locked up somewhere?

The scripture says everything done and said in the dark will be brought into the light.

“For nothing is concealed except to be revealed, and nothing hidden except to come to light.” Mark 4:22

The sooner we allow God to shine the light of His Truth in the dark crevices of our hearts, the sooner he can begin healing and restoring us.

I am a mom to four children and through this experience I’ve had many invaluable lessons.
I’ve learned the more I teach, the more I learn.
I’ve learned that the days a mother puts in are very long but the years fly by.
I’ve learned that if my family sticks together we can do anything.
I’ve learned to appreciate Pop tarts.
I’ve learned that God gave me the perfect kids for me.
I’ve learned that laughter really is the best medicine.
I’ve learned to walk around with my heart outside my body.
I’ve learned to love the scent of a newborn.
I’ve learned to like the Three Stooges.
I’ve learned to hold my breath when my child falls and not react until they do.
I’ve learned no one dies from a little dirt.
I’ve learned not to stop the fun just because of the mess it creates.
I’ve learned to make cleaning messes fun.
I’ve learned just how creative I am.
I’ve learned to be organized in the midst of chaos.
I’ve learned what unconditional love really is.
I’ve learned how to potty train boys.
I’ve learned to major in the majors and minor in the minors.
I’ve learned first through fifth positions, arabesque and passe in ballet.
I’ve learned to identify cars, trucks and planes.
I’ve learned that snuggling up with a good storybook and cuddly kid on a rainy day is the perfect way to spend an afternoon.
I’ve learned not to try to shorten the storybook.
I’ve learned that if I do something fun once be prepared to do it for the rest of time.
I’ve learned how important traditions are.
I’ve learned how much healing power my kisses have.
I’ve learned that I am beautiful especially when my preschool hairdresser puts those green bows in my hair.
I’ve learned I can go without sleep for a very long time.
I’ve learned to watch what I say because my words come back to haunt me in a three year-old’s voice.
I’ve learned how to wage tickle wars.
I’ve learned to make homemade play dough, finger paint and paste.
I’ve learned just how ferocious I can be when my little one is in danger or hurt by someone.
I’ve learned just how great it is to have your teen sit and talk to you.
I’ve learned just how much I didn’t know about raising kids.
I’ve learned how to relax and play again.
I’ve learned what it feels like to be truly forgiven when I apologize to my six year-old for forgetting her friend’s birthday party.
I’ve learned to be flexible because life with little ones is an unpredictable adventure.
I’ve learned that my mother’s curse that she hoped I would have a child just like me, is not a curse at all but quite a blessing.
I’ve learned how God the Father feels about me because that’s the way I feel about my children.
I’ve learned that just as each of my fingers leaves a distinct fingerprint, each of my four children will leave a distinct mark on my heart.
I’ve learned that if I had never become a mother I would have never became all that God intended me to be.

It doesn’t take much to remind us of our age. Like throwing a baseball with your young son on a warm spring day and waking up the next morning so sore you can hardly raise your arm. But other things remind us of not just our physical age. Instead they remind us of our level of maturity, accomplishment and just where we are in God’s great plan.

Recently, I joined the social network site of Face Book. I included my maiden name in my profile and before I knew it I had friends from high school and college (ahmmm, some 20 something years ago) contacting me with warm greetings, eager to hear where I was and what I was doing these days. While it has been so fun catching up with old friends, it has made me stop and think about the road I have traveled in those twenty plus years. I’m not the same girl I was back then. When I left that stage after the graduation ceremony, I was on my way. Not sure where, but it was Plan A. Now, I think I’m on about Plan D,E or F. I sort of lost track. But one thing I know for sure, it has been God’s plan all along.

Over time and experience, our goals and ideas change. Sometimes things don’t work out like we want. I know Mr. Right showed up about 10 years later than I had him scheduled to and I was not ready to stop after having just one baby. But the body was. I was supposed to finish law school but that didn’t happen. I was supposed to live in Boston. Well, Drummond, OK is a long commute from Bean Town. But even though my dreams at 18 and 21 or even 30 are not the ones I’m living today, the dreams of today are the ones I cherish and embrace. I heard an old saying once that “If you want to hear God laugh, just make a plan.” How true, how true.

Many times you hear people talk about not dwelling in the past, that the future is what you need to focus on in order to maintain a happy life. Others say to embrace the past so that you are not subject to repeating it. No matter what you believe, looking back is essential if you choose to move ahead in your home, your marriage, your faith, or even work.

But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted
and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.” 2 Peter 1:9-10 (NIV).

Too often in madness of daily life, we forget to stop and remember that God has forgiven us for the sins we have committed in the past. Often when we make mistakes, we continue to punish ourselves long after God grants us forgiveness. By doing this we are hindering ourselves from moving ahead and living the life that God wants us to live. God loves His children, even if we stray from the past he has set for us.

I have made mistakes in my life at this point. And as much as I hope I won’t make anymore, I know that I will probably stumble and fall down. I am comforted in the fact that God will be there to pick me up, brush me off, and send me on my way.

So what can you do to move ahead? Personal experience has given me a few ideas to help you back onto your path.

1. Cry out to God. He loves you, forgives you, and believes in you. Confess your mistake to him, ask forgiveness, and then let it go.
2. Read your Bible. There are many wonderful gems in the Bible that demonstrate God’s love and forgiveness towards your sin. One of the passages I found that comforts me when I am struggling to accept forgiveness is:

Isaiah 57:18 “16 I will not accuse forever, nor will I always be angry, for then the spirit of man would faint before me—the breath of man that I have created.”(NIV).

3. Talk with another Christian woman who will listen. Often talking to another woman who has been in a similar situation helps you to let go of the pain of the past and accept God’s forgiveness.

4. Journal or blog about your feelings. Writing it down on paper can sometimes help you to organize your thoughts, and understand what you are feeling. If you have a physical record of your fears, take the paper and tear it up, and place it in the garbage. It can help you to remove it completely from your life.

5. Continue to pray on a daily basis. God will give you the strength, if you just ask.

Forgetting the past is often a way to look ahead to the future. But to deny the past is to deny the sacrifice Jesus Christ made in order to ensure the forgiveness of sins. Look back, ask forgiveness, then move ahead. Strive to be the woman God wants you to be.

Blessings to you,

*Graphics courtesy of Creative Ladies Ministry