“Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Ps. 32:6-7
I distinctly remember being 12 years old. I remember struggling in school. I remember not being able to get homework done, feeling overwhelmed with life, feeling a loss of energy, feeling hopeless. I remember wishing I could stay in bed. I remember being so happy when it was bed time so I could stop thinking about what a failure I was. It is hard to imagine what could be so bad about my life as to warrant such hopeless feelings. Regardless, this is a pattern that began and would be repeated over and over in my life.
To the outside world I seemed happy, friendly and outgoing. But inside I struggled with deep feelings of failure and of not being good enough. Though I had become a born again Christian at 11 years old, I struggled to believe that God really loved me, had really accepted me, and really had a purpose for me. I struggled trusting relationships of friends and family. I felt that others were always disappointing me and letting me down.
Thankfully, this all came to a climax when I was 21 years old. I was attending Bible College and simultaneously struggling with depression. A dear friend from church referred me to a Christian, biblical counselor. The combination of studying the Bible full time in college and meeting weekly with counselor who taught me to live according to the God’s Word was a life changing combination. Not truly knowing the Word left me open to lies such as that God did not love me or have a plan for my life. Not knowing the Word of God left me incapable of relating to others in a biblical way or even viewing them according to truth. Not actively walking with God left me disconnected from Him.
Jesus Himself said: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Amen! With Jesus I can overcome. But how? 2 Peter 1:3-4 tells us that “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Though these he has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” God has given me everything I need. I learn how to walk victoriously through this world by studying God’s Word and walking in the way He outlines. Then, as 2 Peter 1:8 tells me, I will not be ineffective or unproductive in my knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As Romans 12:2 outlines, I renew my mind daily. I do this by being in the Word of God and in prayer daily. THEN I can test and approve what His will is. Then I can live as God wants me to live. Knowing I am living a life that pleases my God brings joy!
I am now 40 years old. Even at my age, so many years later, if I stop spending time in God’s Word filling my mind and heart with the truth of the Word, if I stop praying and spending time with God, I begin to feel those old feelings. I become overwhelmed easily and very stressed. If this pattern is not stopped, I become hopeless and withdrawn. Distance from God and from His Word is the quickest route to depression. Seeking God and drawing near to Him is the only path back. It is not easy. It takes stubborn discipline and hard work. It takes doing what needs to be done, not what I want to do. It takes trusting God’s wisdom and not trusting my own wisdom. Proverbs 4:7 says: “Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” In order to conquer depression daily I must be willing to give up all that I have, my time and my own pursuits. It is quite a bargain really. I give up all that I have and gain all the Lord has to give!
Praise Him!
Karen Twombly
(You can reach Karen at Karen@christianhomekeeper.org )
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Wow Karen, what a wonderful post! Thanks so much for sharing with us!
I think that when you let fear into your life it has a big effect as well. I know it was that for me with some of the things with the kids and their Home education that were the final stressors that did me in. I was reading and praying but the depression and the anxiety was to much to bear after a while. The admitting that I had a problem was the biggest part for me. I am encourage d by your going and toughness and dealing with your junk with God. The thing to remember is that sometimes God requires us to do more and seek professional help to get the things we need for our bodies in or to be at the place of dealing with things/coping. Very interesting book I have been reading is called
Coping-insights from Amy Carmichael,CS Lewis,Charles Spurgeon , and Hudson Taylor.How famous Christians lived with depression,imperfection,suffering and need. By Elizabeth Skoglund.
Thanks for your contribution to making this web site it is really neat. I’m Going to share it on my FB page,
Andrea