………. Ain’t Noooo body happy.”
And truer words were never spoken. There’s a reason mom sets the tone of the home, its because the home is her domain. Her emotions and attitude guide those of the entire family.
As a Christian, I believe that since God gives women the responsibility to work in her home, and to be the guide and administrator of all things ‘Home”, she has great power to move and impress her family.
A mother’s words carry such weight. In the book The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, Lindo Jong tells her mother, “You don’t know, you don’t know the power you have over me. One word from you, one look, and I’m four years old again, crying myself to sleep, because nothing I do can ever, ever please you.”
That quote has always stayed with me because I have found it to be true in my own relationship with my Mother. Mothers just hold a power over their children, especially their daughters. That power is natural but we can use it for good or evil just like any super-power.
There is definitely such a thing as “feminine charm”. And I believe there is some undefinable spiritual and moral power that women possess. Add to those the beauty and charm of a woman walking in the Spirit and you have a somewhat fleeting vision of why a woman has so much power over the tone and atmosphere of her home. Whether she is leaning on her own inner charm which may fail or the beauty of the Spirit which never fails, she is laying down the foundation of her home, daily.
The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.Proverb 14:1
If you are at all interested in how you are personally effecting your family, I believe you are concerned with what tone you are sending out in your home. Ask yourself what kind of tone prevails in your home. Is it one of general good-will and peace? Are there under currents of strife or anger? Does everyone yell and argue frequently instead of simply talking it out? Is there mass confusion? Does chaos reign most days? Is the household generally happy but confused and muddled? Are the important things done but the touches that make it a home left undone? Do your children approach you unafraid and respectfully?
Most households are a clear reflection of the woman who resides and works there. See if you can find yourself in the tone of your home. Then see if some areas need attention. Paying attention to the tone now can bless your family.
There are a lot of ways you can change the tone of your home if you see that its not really reflecting what you want it to reflect. The main thing to do, if you are a Christian, is to start some deep soul searching and allow God to point out to you areas in your attitude and actions that need His touch. Many years ago I wrote an article called A Peaceful, Happy, Holy Home. Reading that may give you some idea of where I found myself and my home and how I climbed out of the mess. I was a Christian, I loved the Lord. Yet my home was reflecting the places in my life and heart that I had not yet allowed God to change and renovate. God changed my character and showed me that I could be strong in Him. I learned that I could feel secure enough to put my feelings second to others and find joy and peace not only in my life but in my whole household.
Another thing you can do is to get serious about your job as “Homekeeper”. If you worked at your homekeeping job in someone elses home … would they be happy with your work? Would they want to pay you a wage? You may not earn a dollar wage in your home, but you are an important part of how well your home runs. You are the person who keeps the cogs and sprockets of home greased and moving. Set goals, consider your home your business, not simply an excuse for staying at home.
Have you made your Homekeeping Job your profession and are you treating it like the life calling that it is?
Ain’t momma happy? You can’t be happy all the time, but you can have a strong character that shows joy and security to your family…all the time. You can change the tone of your home and improve the overall day to day personality of your home and everyone in it. It takes some thought, prayer and brave action. You can change your home to reflect all that is beautiful in you by wielding your God-given power to bless and change.
About Sylvia
Thank you, Sylvia. It is so nice to have someone else understand the importance of being a homemaker. I’m surrounded by career women, my mom being one of them, and the question I get most often is…”What do you do all day?” I could never explain that my job was very important. Luckily my husband understands! Even as my children got older (17 &12), my women friends could not understand why I did not get a job. I was an only child left alone at the age of 9 and as I entered teenagehood I went wild. You name it I did it. I wanted to be home for my children at all ages. Maybe when my nest is empty I will get a job or volunteer more. Sorry for the babbling just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your message!
I do understand, Tina. I never imagined being a wife or mother when I was a teen. It seemed to restrictive and demanding, without reward. Now that I know the rewards, I want to teach my girls about it! I hope I can.
Thank you so much for this wonderful posting. It is exactly what I needed to read today!
Thank you so much for this article! I understand that 4yo crying because she could never please her mother. I understood it at 16, and 26, and even now at 38. One thing I have always prayed is that my children would not see me that way. It’s easy to do what you have learned though, because it’s more comfortable than learning a new way. So, often I find myself treating my children the way I hated being treated. But it is a sin not to deal with my attitudes and the tone that I set. So, I work on it daily and purposefully. I’m thankful that I get to stay home with my children and have been called to home school them because I get extra time to make things right. And I want to add this…when we fail, it is important to be honest with our children and ask forgiveness from them. (Another thing that my mother has never done.) It will make all the difference in the world.
Thank-you Sylvia, I`m a 54 yr.old mom, home-schooling my youngest who is 16.Most people think I`m just lazy because my 16 yr.old daughter does`nt need me at home all day.I think a teen in these times needs her mom all the time. All I ever wanted to do was be a wife & mother.I`m very thankful to God that I can be one. I love every moment of it. Bless you for your encouraging blog.