It Just Takes Too Long!

The hardest part of exercising for me is not the walking, the swimming the aerobics…. its how LONG it takes to get it done!  ACK!  While I am walking I keep on ootching up the speed so I can get done faster, hahaha!  Then I get all out of breath and have to slow it down again.. While I am doing aerobics in the pool, I keep thinking, can’t we go any faster???  I want to be done with this.

I have just realized this about myself and it was really surprising.  I am SO stinkin’ impatient with exercising.  Its not that I hate it, but I don’t love it either.  There are just so many other things I had rather be doing……..like playing Frontierville or gardening….. or sewing or cooking……..  exercising seems like such a fun sucker.

The Importance of Age Appropriate Chores

Do your children have regular chores to do in the home?  Ours definitely do.  My husband Mark, and I, have 5 children ages 28, 25, 19, 15 and 12. All of our children have had specific chores to do since they were very small and we have added chores that are appropriate to their ages to their list until they have moved out and are on their own.

We have had very good results with having our children be responsible for household and yard work.  Our three oldest are now the kind of people who see something that needs to be done and do it, without being asked or directed. Our oldest child is now training his own children to work and to be helpful in the home.

The chores that children and young people are required to do will help them in many areas of life later on. Studies have shown that adults who had regular chores at home make better employees and better leaders. The Bible verse of Proverbs 22:6 that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” does not only apply to the spiritual life of the child. Any good way you train your child will remain with the child.  As for myself, I have some good habits now that I remember my Mother training me in. Though I didn’t actually practice them faithfully until I was in my 30′s, those good habits like hanging up my clothes immediately when I change, putting away my shoes, washing my face and brushing my hair first thing in the morning, have all remained with me.

Here are a few of the benefits of assigning chores to your children early in life:

1. Doing chores, children learn how to co-operate and work along side others. Children doing chores with siblings or other family members learn how to work as a team, which is a very important concept in business. They also learn how to get along, share and listen to the ideas of others.

2. When chores have to be done before a child can play or do other activities, the child learns time-management.  They also learn how to delay gratification which is another skill that many adults lack.

3. When children work together with others to complete a chore, they learn responsibility. If everyone doesn’t do their part, the chore is not complete and a child can learn through this that his or her contributions are important. Boys especially need this assurance that they are contributing to the welfare of the family through their chores and work in the home.

4. Children learn self-sufficiency through completing chores and tasks that are assigned to them. What seems like an easy task to an adult may take a lot of thinking and experimenting for a child to figure out. But the process of figuring it out is necessary to develop skills the child need to be self-sufficient.  Parents must develop their own skills of offering enough help to encourage but not so much as to do the whole chore themselves.

5.  One of the most important things children learn by doing chores is care for others.  Parents can teach their children to nurture and show care for siblings and family members by having them do things like; folding and putting away siblings clothing, helping with a sibling’s homework or helping to clean a sibling’s room, making beds, etc.  Human beings are naturally selfish so helping others is a skill that must be learned and fine-tuned.

Not all chores are appropriate for children of all ages.  Obviously, you would not assign dish-washing to a 12 month old. Mothers who have had a few children learn pretty quickly what a child of any age is capable of, but often we sell our children’s abilities short.  Small children can do many things that, while they may not be done perfectly, the mere act of doing them builds confidence and character in the child. Older children can often be trusted to do difficult chores well. We each know our own children and their capabilities, but sometimes we have to step out and allow them to try things that we consider hard or complicated.

Small children have a helpful and sweet nature that can be used by Mothers to begin the process of training.  Here are a few things that a 12-18 month old can do, and can continue on with these things up til about 3 years when more tasks can be added.
Go and get items as directed
Fold wash cloths and dish towels
Put items in a drawer with help
Set his own place for meals
Pick up and put away toys with help
A child this age can be encouraged to voice his own prayers

For the 3 to 5 year old, many possibilities are opened up for service to family members. This is also a good age for beginning to teach the child to take care of many of his own personal needs. Include the previous tasks for the 18 month to 3 year old also.
Dress himself
Fold up and put away more complicated clothing
Set table
Take dishes to sink after meals
Clean up small messes from floor
Feed and water pets
Take out small bags of trash
Make bed with help
Stack up books and magazines

At the ages of 5 to 7 years a child really begins to be a help to the family and begins to see that he is indispensible to the harmony and happiness of the family’s routine. This is the time when the child learns most of what it takes to run a household. Include the previous tasks listed.
Make bed by himself
Change sheets on his bed and for others
Do his own personal care routine unsupervised
Fold blankets
Sort laundry, load laundry with some supervision
Fold towels and some clothing
Sweep and mop small areas
Dust furniture
vacuum
Hang shirts on hangers
Make rolls and biscuits from dough
Pick up and straighten
Set out plants in the garden
Weed garden
Water garden
Harvest from garden
Bring in wood
Labeling food for freezer or canning jars
Some sewing and embroidery

Between the ages of 8 and 12 years a child is capable of taking on many more responsibilities. This is the age when boys begin to feel protective over their Mothers and sisters, if it has been instilled into them, and when they are most likely to want to be outside instead of inside. Provide opportunity for your sons to have outside chores, however, do not neglect the inside chores.
Begin to allow a few choices to your daughters about meal planning, table settings and family games.

Sweep house and porch
Run vaccum in any room
Preparing garden for planting
Hoe and rake garden
Help prepare daily meals
Make bread with some supervision
Hang all laundry on line
Fold all clothing articles
Make a simple lunch unsupervised
Make cookies, cakes, muffins and simple desserts
Iron on low temperatures
Serve meals and pour drinks
Stack wood

By the time a child is 12 years old, he is capable of doing most anything you can do in the household. With training a 12 or 13 year old child can be depended upon to run the house in the prescence of an adult for short periods of time. For instance, when Mother has a new baby by her side, the older children should be able to be relied on to help Father with the small children to the point that he can attend to his work and have trust in the older ones to take care of and protect the younger ones. This is very alien and strange to many parents today. To leave a 13 year old child in the position of caring for his or her younger siblings, even if it is in the prescence of an adult, seems careless to them.Most 13 year olds are not capable or willing to be given this responsibility. And giving this responsibility to an untrained child is foolhardy at the least. That is why training at a young age is so important.

I will brag on my children for just a moment. I know that training children early in life works. When my oldest child, who is now 28 years old with a lovely wife and two little girls of his own, was just 12 years old, I was very ill. The Dr. said “complete bed-rest for at least a week.” I sat in bed and the little ones sat with me as we read and worked on school. My oldest son did laundry, prepared lunch for me and the children, did his own school work and straightened the house and he prepared dinner before his Dad got home. What a relief for me and for my husband that this child remembered everything he had been taught and managed the house so well.
He even sewed a button on a shirt. The other children pitched in and did their chores. The household ran very smoothly. That one week showed us that children can learn difficult things, they can be taught and they can do what is required of them.

To neglect our children’s training may seem like the easy thing to do when you are a tired mommy. It may seem like it is something we can forget about when the child becomes difficult to teach or discipline becomes an every day thing. But I think we can agree that it will not be the wise thing to do. We must train up our children and provide for them this base and foundation for living a godly and Christ-Like life. We must train our children so that they can be good employees, good employers and good mothers and fathers for their own children.

Day 4 of Week 4 ~ “If Momma Ain’t Happy ……..

………. Ain’t Noooo body happy.”

And truer words were never spoken. There’s a reason mom sets the tone of the home, its because the home is her domain. Her emotions and attitude guide those of the entire family.

As a Christian, I believe that since God gives women the responsibility to work in her home, and to be the guide and administrator of all things ‘Home”, she has great power to move and impress her family.

A mother’s words carry such weight. In the book  The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, Lindo Jong tells her mother, “You don’t know, you don’t know the power you have over me. One word from you, one look, and I’m four years old again, crying myself to sleep, because nothing I do can ever, ever please you.”

That quote has always stayed with me because I have found it to be true in my own relationship with my Mother. Mothers just hold a power over their children, especially their daughters. That power is natural but we can use it for good or evil just like any super-power.

There is definitely such a thing as “feminine charm”.  And I believe there is some undefinable spiritual and moral power that women possess. Add to those the beauty and charm of a woman walking in the Spirit and you have a somewhat fleeting vision of why a woman has so much power over the tone and atmosphere of her home. Whether she is leaning on her own inner charm which may fail or the beauty of the Spirit which never fails, she is laying down the foundation of her home, daily.

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.Proverb 14:1

If you are at all interested in how you are personally effecting your family, I believe you are concerned with what tone you are sending out in your home. Ask yourself what kind of tone prevails in your home. Is it one of general good-will and peace?  Are there under currents of strife or anger?  Does everyone yell and argue frequently instead of simply talking it out?  Is there mass confusion? Does chaos reign most days?  Is the household generally happy but confused and muddled? Are the important things done but the touches that make it a home left undone? Do your children approach you unafraid and respectfully?

Most households are a clear reflection of the woman who resides and works there.  See if you can find yourself in the tone of your home.  Then see if some areas need attention. Paying attention to the tone now can bless your family.

There are a lot of ways you can change the tone of your home if you see that its not really reflecting what you want it to reflect. The main thing to do, if you are a Christian, is to start some deep soul searching and allow God to point out to you areas in your attitude and actions that need His touch. Many years ago I wrote an article called A Peaceful, Happy, Holy Home. Reading that may give you some idea of where I found myself and my home and how I climbed out of the mess. I was a Christian, I loved the Lord. Yet my home was reflecting the places in my life and heart that I had not yet allowed God to change and renovate. God changed my character and showed me that I could be strong in Him. I learned that I could feel secure enough to put my feelings second to others and find joy and peace not only in my life but in my whole household.

Another thing you can do is to get serious about your job as “Homekeeper”.  If you worked at your homekeeping job in someone elses home … would they be happy with your work?  Would they want to pay you a wage? You may not earn a dollar wage in your home, but you are an important part of how well your home runs. You are the person who keeps the cogs and sprockets of home greased and moving.  Set goals, consider your home your business, not simply an excuse for staying at home.

Have you made your Homekeeping Job your profession and are you treating it like the life calling that it is?

Ain’t  momma happy?  You can’t be happy all the time, but you can have a strong character that shows joy and security to your family…all the time. You can change the tone of your home and improve the overall day to day personality of your home and everyone in it. It takes some thought, prayer and brave action. You can change your home to reflect all that is beautiful in you by wielding your God-given power  to bless and change.

The More You Have……….

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This is a re-post from my personal blog, The Christian Homekeeper.

Since we are getting ready to declutter, clean, organize and decorate our homes in the Harvest Homekeeping Event, I thought this might help to inspire and motivate you!

Can money buy us happiness? If we were all gathered together and I asked for a show of hands for that question, I don’t think most of us would raise our hands to it. Mostly, we understand that money doesn’t ultimately buy happiness or joy. So why do we continue to act like we believe it can?

Every time we add to our collection of things, we are in danger of being controlled and possessed by those things. Every time we say “yes” to our children’s or grand-children’s desires for material things when we should have said “no”, we are teaching them to fulfill their own material desires above all else.

The love of money and happiness are incompatible. Jesus said, “It is as hard for a rich man to enter heaven as for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.” His disciples thought that was a hard saying. Perhaps they understood the concept that you don’t have to be Donald Trump or Bill Gates to be thought of as “rich” to most of the world.

According to Barna research, most of the people of the world don’t own a car, have air conditioning, indoor plumbing, access to a doctor or a refrigerator. Based on that information, there are a lot of us working middle class or poor people in the U.S. and Europe who might just have a hard time entering heaven. That’s definitely a hard saying.

The owning of material things is not sinful. No more than money itself is sinful. Money is a tool. Jesus told us that it is the love of that tool that leads to sin. So then the love of our things and the lust to accumulate is materialism and that is a dangerous thing. It causes us to become un-focused and disconnected with family, friends and God. It can change our mind-set to the degree that we are not able to achieve enjoyment of life, even when we have everything we need in life. It is subtle in its work on our minds, just like all sin is. And soon, we are never satisfied.

According to Anne Morrow Lindbergh the secret to loving and enjoying one’s life is finding out “how little one can get along with, not how much.” Just how much of our stuff do we have to love before it becomes materialism? I believe the answer would shock us.

Most women have a longing, sometimes an ache, for a simpler lifestyle. I know I’ve had that longing in my own life. Do you go to great lengths to learn how to make soap, make bread and learn handcrafts? I certainly have. Do you grow a garden and can your family’s foods? Yes, I did. Perhaps you have learned to save and reuse many items as well as “make do” with what you have. I’ve always tried to be a frugal person. I don’t think there is anything wrong with any of them! But while all these endeavors are admirable and worthy pursuits, alone, they cannot bring us the peace and simple lifestyle we yearn for.

What happens many times in the quest for a simple lifestyle (and what happened to me) is that though we are making items and utilizing God’s blessings in a better way, our focus doesn’t change. The focus can still be on “things” and how much we can accumulate, own or produce for ourselves. The assumption is still that the more things we accumulate and own, the happier we will be.

So the way we think about possessions has to change if we want to find our way out of the sinkhole of materialism. It is possible to live what looks like a very frugal lifestyle and still be materialistic at heart.

There only a very few things in life that are truly necessary. The real feat is teaching one’s self to live a contented life without the excess things we are accustomed to having around us and to find a balance between what we possess and what we can do without. Jesus promises that God will provide two things to His children in Matthew 6:33… “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Again in 1 Timothy 6:8 We are told, “And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”
The context of these statements is that we are to focus on God and His will, not on accumulating earthly wealth that can only rust, rot and crumble.

The stuff and junk and things we collect don’t bring us simplicity, they simply bring us a false sense of security, pride and comfort. Jesus said, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where they can be eaten by moths and get rusty, and where thieves break in and steal.” Yet we continue to collect our own stash of stuff. It’s as if we are afraid to step out and let go of our stuff so we continue to collect more, adding to the pile, adding to the pile, adding to our fake security blanket.

It’s a really difficult thing to stand stripped naked of our stuff before the Lord. When we realize though that He is all that we need we have to make that conscious decision to cry out to Him and then to climb out of the stuff and the old habits that created the monster of materialism in our lives. Once you do this, I promise you, you will never be the same again. God can change your thought processes about possessions. You will never be completely content again with meaningless spending and buying junk your family doesn’t need.

Since most of us have far more than we need, here is an exercise for you this holiday season to help you to see how attached you may be to your possessions. It will help you stretch yourself a little in giving away some of them. Get yourself an empty grocery bag.

Now go through the house and pick up at least three things that belong to you, that you will give away and not replace. Immediately go to the local Goodwill, Salvation Army or other place of charity and hand over those items. Don’t wait til tomorrow.

Now think about these wise words from Randy Alcorn concerning Possessions:

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you want.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the less you’re satisfied.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more people will come after it.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you realize it does you no good.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you have to worry about.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you can hurt yourself by holding on to it.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you have to lose.

THE MORE YOU HAVE, the more you’ll leave behind.

© 2008 Sylvia Britton